#IamGaur! but, #iamNOTgauri! (sorry)

September 19, 2017


I am Gaur!

Also, je suis gaur. My GOD! I already feel full of liberté égalité fraternité! Oui! All that shité

Okay. I have duly expressed all my outpourings as above, and explained it with pictures, just in case you have any doubts about my strong and very sad feelings. About my deep anguish of incensed hurt.

About my protest chic. About my ability to wield placards. About my ability shout at the top of voice, stupid slogans like ‘Bharat tere tukde honge, isha allah insha allah‘ and all that.

I am noise. Je suis Noise! Nauseating noise.

Yes. I am a professional protestwallah. Sorry sirs and ma’ams, I cannot entertain anymore business enquiry at this juncture. My calendar is booked for many years. I have wealthy sponsors from hell, oops, sorry, they are from many secular NGOs, many secular evangelical organizations;  some very secular islamists also fund us – we are all working for, wait, um, not for a fee. We are fighting for secularism. For human rights. For ethics in public life. For human values.

’nuff said; gotta go to Taj WestEnd for dinner. Have to moan about the wretched Indian intolerant conditions with fellow-humanrighters and belch noisily.

*shit* After that, have to go to a talk show, to prove how secular I am, but sir, only after those liberal doses of Teacher’s Scotch. Sorry. Gotta rush.

But, ye poor Nilgiri Gaur, I would deal with you later. I like you, love you but… sab paapi pet ka maamla hai.

…as of now am booked for ‘I am Gauri.’ Thanks.

Why are you asking me? I don’t know who this Gauri is! They said there will be some briefing, after a continental breakfast – and then we can do an onward march, protesting. So.


But, unfortunately for the lumpen protesters, there are still many sane Indians. They, unlike these protestwallahs, do not merely pay lip service to the unity and integrity of India. They do not merely pontificate about ‘freedom of  thought & expression.’ They do not seek to still the sane voices by shrill slogan mongering. They are not vendors of hate. Thanks.

They may not be vociferous, because they actually work. They are the silent hackers. They, as Noam Chomksy said – are known by their actions, not words.

They have internalized the idea – Hum honge kamyaab. They say – we shall overcome, all you protestwallahs – all you intellectualitis afflicted lumpens and your dastardly agendas. Yes.

Indusland über alles, über alles in der Welt. Ja. At the same time, let other lands prosper too. Prosperity & Growth, unlike the colonial times, need not be a zero-sum game. Amen.


Now, for some fantastic protest tamaasha photographs, some from my dear bungle-ooru, some from some-other ooru… (all gratuitously ‘taken’ from google servers. thanks!)

I am Gauri. hmmm…


I am also Gauri. Oh?But don’t you dare look at my fake Tommy Hilfiger TeeShirt.


We could all be Gauris. Yeah, right. You can’t figure that out. Not so easy.

We are all fighting for Women’s liberation, that is from light to darkness, thanks!

Thanks to progressives and liberals working in coalition with islamists, we have become what we are, verrry eqqqual… blacked out from the development and progress… happily going back by 1400 years in a backward time travel (but then, we have smartphones, yeah? And we are of course, protest chic!)


We are the privileged youth who can afford to protest at the drop of a hat, or the release of a secular fart! We are all interning for a lucrative career in Protestantism. Don’t you see our happy smiles?

Silly you… the figures above are us, seven comrades – the ones below are mere puppets! Jeez, can’t you even observe these obvious facts?

…But I am Gauri, and thanks at last! (at least, I am not a protestwallah! And, in any case, I do not have the time for sponsored nonsense!)

….hmm; like all things in India, things have to hit such a nadir that, we have to start talking about all these actorwallahs! *sheesh*


Dear Sirs and Ma’ams,

In case you haven’t realized it already, left with absolutely no option, lately I am being pushed in the right direction and am increasingly becoming a conservative conservationist. And, how I hate these professional protestwallahs, ill-guided leftists, media posterior-openings and assorted thuggish intellectuals.

But folks, it is impotent to be fashionable. So, Je suis Gauri!

This is in French, and to make it sure, am wearing a ‘vip‘ Frenchie to gird my loins; also am beginning to grow a French beard. Have also decided to become a French loafer, to boot. Thanks!

…Anyway, I do not want to go into the merits and demerits of this murder – and I would anyway hate to see anyone’s end coming this way. It is tragic, I agree. Even if this happened to a person who I completely abhor for various reasons.

And Gauri Lankesh was one such person. She was a totally surreal. A person completely consumed by hate. Foul mouthed like I. Very adolescent. Very rude and crude, even compared to ME! Multiple standards. Full of bravado and uncalled-for hubris. No sense of balance. Outright lies. Jaundiced eyes. Hobnobbing with very violent & criminal scum.

The reasons for these views of mine, started more than 25 years back, when a bunch of us (including the lady) were discussing some leftist thingies – things that are lost in the swirling mists of time, disbelief and memories… (and no need to delve in to these details, especially when I deeply question my own freakin’ sanity, or so I tell myself)

Anyway, I for one do not believe that just because one got murdered, that does not make one a hero or heroine.

It was a sad end for Ma’am Lankesh. Of course, the guilty must be found out, tried in a court of law and punished appropriately (or inappropriately as the case may be).

But, I will NEVER jump to conclusions about who could have committed this murder or who could have been behind it, if there were one. In other words, I will not spread uncalled for rumours and give hate speeches or write hate posts. I will NOT make use of this murder to further my petty agenda.

I will not lie through my teeth. I will not indulge in Goebbelsian propaganda – like the organizers and backers of #IamGauri tamaashas.


On the day of that stagemanaged #IamGauri tamaasha in Bangalore, I happened to pass by straggler groups of protesters and the whole freakin’ thing was telling. Really sad and hilarious.

So, some of my thoughts and questions:

All killings are not important. If some local language speaking hack gets murdered, why the hell do we even care? They don’t speak and write in English. So, they don’t anyway deserve to exist. But GauriLankesh could write well in English and so. (I could recollect more than a dozen local language journalists getting killed over the past one year, and NONE of these protesting busybodies even raise as much a finger against all these assassinations! Many of them happened in Congress/Opposition ruled states, to boot!)

This Ma’am Lankesh killing happened in a Congress ruled state – Karnataka, law and order is a state subject – but still, the protesting criminals could only think of the union government and its alleged lapses. How convenient!

Even before the SIT setup by the Karnataka Government could begin the probe – the sponsored protesters had already figured out who the perpetrators were! Everyone worth his liberal and humanrights salt was cackling away to glory that – murderers of Ma’am Lankesh were Hindutvaites! (these professional protesters are oh so brilliant you know?)

In a record time – these protest materials including buntings, banners, headbands, puppets etc etc have been put together; one really wonders as to how come so much money has been put in and so many process details were completely figured out like a proper corporate activity/campaign – this, even when the protest was supposed to be ‘spontaneous’?

In fact, from Majestic Railway Station to the Central College park route (in Bangalore) taken by these professional protesters – I witnessed at least two vans (one tata ace and the other tempo traveller) actively distributing freshmint banners and buntings as also headbands! Who sponsored all these things? Are these the forces out to break the unity and integrity of India by aiding and abetting trouble making scum?

Some of these ‘tastefully’ designed banners also had the sponsors’ name emblazoned on them – which was a christian evangelical movement, out to convert more and more of heathen hindu souls! (unfortunately I did not have a camera or a phone with me to capture these telltale signs of blatant sponsorship)

There were the usual DYFI kinda crowds, ‘radical students’ who were wasting their parents’ money, and jobless young protesters, but there were also a few Mullahs actively chanting slogans against Hindutva! (So Islamism is good, thanks!)

Also there were robed Christian evangelicals shouting slogans against Hindutva. But sadly there was no representation from, say, the Isha foundation or Ramanashram or HareKrishna movement in the protests. (So, as per these fantastic beasts called ‘liberals,’ Jaggi Vasudev must have been behind the murder of Ma’am Lankesh! Thanks! Crime solved!)

There were SCHOOL kids (some surprisingly in their NCC uniforms – supplied by the Union Government!) who were also protesting – against the Union Government! (was told that these kids were some from Christian convent – but I did not have the time to verify it directly, talking to the hapless kids)

I had gotten hold of a press release note from the ‘Catholic Bishops Conference of India‘  who were also indirect sponsors of the protests – but I seem to have misplaced it. But this is from a Radio Vatican web version.

(Sadly, I don’t remember this catholic organization coming out with anything like this, when a normal, bold, courageous person  gets murdered – like our venerable Shanmugam Manjunath)

In any case – these evangelical bright folks should not mistake her empty bravado for courage, hate for conviction, obscenity for boldness, irresponsibility for journalism!  Anyway, this attitude of selective protest and agendafulness speaks volumes about the divisive and hate discourse of the evangelicals…

Luckily, I was spared the social media nonsense about this selfserving #iamgauri – so am happy. Thanks.


There are TWO important morals/pointers stemming from l’affaire #iamgauri.

  1. All killings are not important. Some are more important than others. Many are unimportant, actually. It all depends on convenience, truth be told.
  2. To be precise, the take of a ‘liberal’ is:  If the murdered person happens to be 1) working only with local milieu and languages – and NOT with English 2) seen as a person supporting one of the Hindu religions – and NOT Muslim/Christian – then the murder SHOULD be ignored. He/She is not worth the trouble. If possible, one should assign a ‘valid’ reason for the aforesaid murder.

Protest is a very futuristic and the most lucrative career option for our youth.

Dollar and Dinar funding available. Press #1 for English language. Hold on to your overseas operator for assistance.

Thanks for taking our support. You should protest, otherwise India will progress. Bonus points for the consistently loudest voices. Attractive terms and luxurious conditions apply.




6 Responses to “#IamGaur! but, #iamNOTgauri! (sorry)”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    R, Did you read what JeMo wrote about your Madam? Am curious.

    • I just did. Thanks, and I know where you are coming from. :-(

      As I wrote earlier and spoke to you about, he has his opinions based on his world view and experience. I have mine likewise.

      It perhaps is good to have many points of view – but I generally disagree that only ‘creative’ people and littérateurs have the moral authority and all that. They are not necessarily the torch bearers of a desirable social order and/or conscience/ethics keepers.

      Unfortunately, each unto his own. Each, a microcosm of what the macrocosm is,

  2. Sridhar Tiruchendurai Says:

    Sickening. Check out the selective reporting and outrage of our media at http://www.opindia.com/2017/08/hindustan-times-hate-tracker-a-classic-case-of-how-media-peddles-an-agenda/.

  3. […] முக்கியம். கௌரி அவர்கள் குறித்த இரங்கல்(!) கட்டுரையிலும் இதனைக் […]

மேற்கண்ட பதிவு (அல்லது பின்னூட்டங்கள்) குறித்து (விருப்பமிருந்தால்) உரையாடலாமே...

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