| ஒத்திசைவு | प्रत्याह्वय | resonance |

Long ago, lost in the twirling mists of the memories past,  I wrote a series of rants on ‘talkers and doers‘ – more with a sense of disgust towards myself than with others… The links to the updated versions of the series are at the bottom of this offending post, for your edification.

…and pardon my soliloquy. (you can look at the other meanings/connotations too!)

JournalEntry# October 30, 2008 + updated on 28th September, 2015

I have long since come to the conclusions (not that they are a great revelation or whatever) that:

• it is darn easy to keep complaining ad infinitum about anything and everything in life — and the more half-baked knowledge that one has of any given issue, the better it is!
• if I complain about something (weather / prices / IT crowd / Hindutva / Dinakaranthuva / Islamtva / Thinathanthithva… whatever, may be even S.Ramakrishnan and his ilk!), it is easy to have a meaningless conversation with everyone, and for some strange reason folks love it and participate in it with much gusto. Time passes. We all happily die ever after.
• it is so difficult and taxing a task, to do anything right and to contribute towards righting anything that I want to complain about.
• it is a fulfilling task, if one chooses to do something, instead of merely whining all the time.
• and if one immerses himself completely into something, then, he (or she) has no bloody time to complain about anything in life. (and hopefully, this rant would not qualify as whining about the whiners, hic!) ;-)
• anyway, our lifetimes are rather short and whatever that remains of it henceforth, could rather be spent on appreciating and enjoying beautiful things in life – it could be music or books or films and just being (of course without whining).
• and last, if one spends all the time analyzing darkness, how can one ever see light?  Sad. But this too shall pass, I hope.

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For many, many years, this Gent and I have been reasonable acquaintances and whenever we got to talk to each other, it was always about how some thing or some person is quite bad and oh no, look what the world is coming to and ohmigod, is there any hope at all and stuff.

After a while, I realized that it was not good for me or for that matter anyone else – to just keep whining – but still, I would listen to the whine. This was because, I realize – to folks that I have some respect for, I am not all that impolite, in fact I am always surprised that I could occasionally be a sweet person, ohmigawd! So I would continue to listen to the tales of woe of this Gent… and oh, the aggravation!

…of course,  sometimes I hated to be even a polite listener of this despicable drivel and incidentally,  developed surreal allergic rashes all over my body, when I got large doses of this whine; a few times, I got those real physical, visceral, intense reactions – even when I merely thought of having to listen to his monologue;  but, for a while, I could not figure out as to why was it happening, I thought I need not be randomly linking these two events. I thought, there could be other psychological causes or some environmental allergens for these allergic reactions – but only much later, did I realize that it was merely psychosomatic, thanks to Louise L Hay’s ‘Heal your body.’  Like all dis-eases, the problem was with my mind.

For various reasons, this Gent and I keep bumping into each other (is there a ‘message from the universe’ for me here? ;-) ah, the mumbo-jumbo!) and a few months back, when I had met him, I had told him point blank that,  there is no point in complaining about anything unless one is willing to do something about it.

This was when the whine_monologue started about his faltering Internet connection and how bad the ‘power situation’ is, in Bangalore, how bad the roads are … … I escaped kinda unhurt this time around – but in retrospect, I think I should have been more direct in communication; should have said, shut the fuck up. But then, I was actually wondering whether I was merely & wantonly hell bent on wounding his feelings or am I acting to stop something that I have a complaint against… Heavy, nagging and uncomfortable self doubts. Finally, the instinct for self preservation took over and I mumbled something and managed to move on. End of Story.

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So this gent (who otherwise appears to be sane, having done a few useful and reasonably commendable things in the past, including being a junior to me in my college, being a dear geeky/hackery pal otherwise!), comes along. Knowing his type and my type I generally avoid any crass-pollination and keep my conversation to a polite and absolute minimum.

But he keeps hounding me with a soulful look and I allow myself to be cornered and so we sit on the window sill – and, instead of admiring the breath-taking greenery all around and inhaling the fresh smells of decaying organic matter or listening to the desolate and melancholic pigeons balancing themselves delicately on the electric power lines, I am asked what do I think of the financial crisis and look how bad it is and it is all of course America’s fault. Look, the stock market is plummeting. Too many bears.

Alarm bells. I couldn’t bear it anymore.

I immediately blurt out – WE are NOT undergoing any financial crisis at home, thanks! We have enough to take care of ourselves.

Awkward silence follows, with me already feeling bloody sullen.

Again I am asked, what do I think of the ‘IT downturn’ and am I in touch with my ex-colleagues – I grin nervously and tell this Gent, I don’t follow the news or talk about it, as I am not willing to do anything about it either way.

I start wondering how come I am *so* very polite. It is not a very natural state for me, at least these days.

May be you know about the impending technology crisis? – am hopefully asked. I simply shrug. (actually I do  not know anything about this crisis, anyway!)

Grin.

Dunno whether the Gent gets the hint – actually there were no hints. I think, I immediately became an unwelcome pest in his point-of-view.

Yes. This Gent starts complaining about how arrogant I am and how I lack empathy  and how I am selfish and how I do not care about global issues and how I am being a Brahmin. Bah! Ah, the infernal brahmin arrogance! It had been a while since this epithet was thrown at me, I realize with unalloyed glee!

Anyway, I get up (household chores are always there) and he get up too and went back to his laptop to hang around presumably with slashdotters and lynch mobs. Or may be to do some genuine work. Unfortunately, I have stopped caring.

… I wonder why folks have a great appetite for absolutely negative news and relish them. And, why they don’t do ANYTHING else apart from this happy and self-fulfilling-prophesied whining and retailing of woes.

Folks have too much time in their hands.

I have.

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Now is THE scariest part of this story: given the propensity to bestow my infinite wisdom on others at the drop of a hat, this Gent could have been me. Yes. I know the enemy.

Let me get back to admiring my biodynamic compost pit. Thanks to good ol’ Steve Solomon, I know that:

Health begins in the soil

Healing begins with hygiene

Liberty begins with freedom.

Amen.

Silence.

Except for the whirring cooling fan of the laptop.

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