| ஒத்திசைவு | प्रत्याह्वय | resonance |

Not even, Audrey Truschke! :-(

Someone HAD to do this sometime. So.

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Dear fellow intellectual, left-wing, progressive, liberal & human-rights loving self-righteous persons,

Greetings. Lal Salaam. Bharath tere tukde honge. Inshallah. Amen. Attaboy. Thanks for stopping by.

…But, all you dastardly right-wingers and Hindu nationalists, just go away. There is a lot for you to learn & reflect upon in this important essay, but, given your state and unceasing Islamophobic hate and penchant for rewriting history – you can’t really learn much from me.

So, just drop dead, okay?

As for others, normal intellectuals, my lovely darlings – please go through the whole post, you will be rewarded amply, if not in this secular birth, at least in the insular heavens.

Thanks.

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Why am I writing this?

Aurangzeb is a fascinating and complex character – but unfortunately, is much misunderstood & maligned because of certain huge and fundamental distortions of history.

British historians, Hindu historians and believe me, even Muslim court historians (recent example: Ms Truschke) have been unkind to him and have been complicit in this whitewashing of history – so much so that, Aurangzeb, the patriot, is seen as a veritable villain in his own homeland. But Adams and Madams, let me assure you. Nothing can be farther from the truth.

Having been a humble tool of History, Christory and Islamstory narratives – working for the Macaulayite hindustry for some 3 decades now, having traveled far and wide, having been a very erudite and hardworking scholar – I want to lay threadbare and summarize in detail a few significant and very positive bits of information about this great patriot from al-Hind – after doing some significant backbone breaking research.

Needless to say, all the following have SOLID evidence from primary, secondary and tertiary sources of history – namely the collected opus of some of the greatest scholars that are walking the earth even as I write this essay – such as Romila Thapar, Irfan Habib, Ramachandra Guha, Wiliam Dalrymple and Shashi Tharoor – not to forget that lovely and incredibly erudite newcomer to the scene, young Comrade Audrey Truschke.

Now, let us proceed towards the Astonishing Facts, and I bet you would not have even heard of any of them before! (you should really wonder why)

FACT #1: Yes, Aurangzeb imposed Jiiziya on differently-abled Muslims (actually he used this politically correct euphemism for Hindus, Buddhists, Sikhs and Jains – which itself proves his incredible foresight!) – but nobody tells you that the money thus collected, was used by him to build many new mandirs and viharas. In fact, the Varadarajaperumal temple in Kanchipuram owes its very existence to Aurangzeb. Another such, but less famous example is Tirupati Venkateswara temple.

FACT #2: Aurangzeb, when he ascended to the throne, changed the court language from Persian to Tamil as he was very fond of Sangam literature; however, the vile Brahmins conspired as usual and wanted to change it into Sanskrit. Though not many Indians know about it, this was the MAIN reason why Dravidians are STILL opposed to Brahmins. Anyway, deeply troubled by this feud between Brahmin conspirators and courageous Dravidian kings (such as Erodekondan Ramasami Naik) – Aurangzeb had to roll-back his decision and move back to Persian.

FACT #3: Aurangzeb established not one, but FOUR great universities of higher learning in the four corners of India. The infidels and kafirs, grouping under a rebel called Adrak e Shank’er (Persian name of Adisankara or whoever) – have since demolished ALL of them and have built their own madrasas – currently they are called Dwarka, Srigeri, Badrirnath and Puri. (Please note that, their original, Aurangzeb given names were Dawa’ka, Shir’ur Ger, Badr al-Ahath and Pur’e al-Oo)

FACT #4: Far from demolishing the Kashi Vishwanath temple, Aurangzeb actually founded the holy town of Benares. It was originally called Benne al Sur (this means ‘Butter of the South’ in the languages of Kannada, Arabic and Spanish) because it was located on the southern side of triveni sangamam and was in essence like the butter, that had collected all the better things of al-Hind; apparently, this eventually became Benares and then became Varanasi (how come? can readers help with etymology please?); after the Hindu hordes under Ahilyabhai ransacked Benne al Sur – and even managed to damage a small portion of the great Mosque and installed the infidol – called Viswanatha – the riots betwen Muslims and differently-abled Muslims have never stopped. A far cry from the tolerant days of Aurangzeb.

FACT #5:  Aurangzeb was a Bhakti poet. In fact, he was so scholarly in all Indian languages that he even wrote devotionals to Lord Krishna. This is not so widely known – but he was one of the famous Azhwars (vaishnavite singers-bards) and his verses are still being chanted in the Srirangam temple of Tamilnadu. Incidentally, he is fondly called Aurathazhawar in TamilNadu. All these facts are mentioned in the Srirangam temple legend called Koil-Ozhugu. (Incidentally, this chapter of the devotional contributions of Aurangzeb have been completely blacked out by the forces of Hindutva)

FACT #6: Aurangzeb was very kind and always very polite to Sikhs. In fact, he laid the foundation stone for the Harmandir Sahib and gave a huge grant for building it; this campus is now called the Golden Temple in Amritsar. The stories of him, killing Guru Teg Bahadur and sawing apart his disciple and killing his children are all wrong. There is no primary source based evidence for these incidents in either Malayalam or Khmer – why, even Australian aboriginals haven’t heard of these! In fact, the person who did all this mayhem was Tantia Tope, who was later executed for his heinous crimes by Salarjung of Hyderabad.

FACT #7: When Aurangzeb was composing his hymns praising Krishna in Tamil Nadu – he stayed in the town of Mylapore (now part of Chennai), in a small building (which now houses ‘Karpangambal Mess‘ – and discussed Hindu philosophy extensively with Tiruvalluvar. Apparently he was a also good friends with St Thomas, who came visiting Chennai at that time. We can see lots of influences of the noble thoughts of Aurangzeb in what is now called Tirukkural. Some very respected Tamil scholars like AR Venkatachalapathy are of the opinion that – perhaps Tiruvalluvar had plagiarized from Aurangzeb, though the last word on this is yet to be said by Rajinikanth.

FACT #8: Significantly changing the democratically secular practice that was traditionally followed under the Islamic rule in India thus far (of Muslims politely spitting into the open mouths of Hindus, to educate the latter, and anticipating Swachh Bharath), Aurangzeb authorized the mutual spitting of Hindus into each other’s mouths, as a way of dharmic greeting.

FACT #9: Aurangzeb designed and built the Taj Mahal in a record 60 days. Ferdinand de Lesseps (the architect of Suez canal), Isambard Kingdom Brunel (of London tube system) were all interning under Aurangzeb; not many people know that the Tanjore Brahadeeshwara Temple is heavily influenced by Aurangzeb’s designs. (incidentally, noted Tamil Scholar and Polymath Kamaal Haassan, while chairing a highpr0file seminar ‘Aurangzeb, the Pacifist‘ – observes that ‘we are more intolerant of Aurangzeb than he was tolerant of intolerance, thus only I can become the next Chief Minister of Tamilnadu because half of my name has Islam written all over it.‘)

FACT #10: Aurangzeb was the first one to design and operationalize the ‘Golden Quadrilateral‘ – the four interconnected imperial highways connecting Mumbadevi, Chennapattana, Kalighatta and Indraprastha. Since he was a Secular king, he saw to it that he mercilessly demolished nearly 20000 mosques which were in the way, while making sure that not even one ‘house of idols’ belonging to Kafirs were touched. Such was his tolerance. (Unfortunately, the Saffron brigade has hijacked the idea and says that their leaders were the ones to do the arterial highways of India! Shame on them!)

Here are three more facts, sorry I lied in the title about the number. But, I am a certified leftist-liberal and therefore lying is my fundamentalist right. Thanks!

FACT #11: Aurangzeb built many Dams (and some say even a Nuclear Reactor near Nalanda that got unfortunately razed by Baktiyar Khilji, since he mistook it for a temple) and scientific laboratories across India – including a precursor of ISRO! Unfortunately all of them got destroyed by Rohingyas, because they mistook them for Buddhist viharas. (Incidentally, when Nehru’s engineers were building the huge dam at Bakra-Nangal in the 1950s, they noticed a solid dam underneath, with an inscription that read ‘Aurangzeb built this dam to help the infidels grow wheat and rice, Mashallah!’)

FACT #12: Aurangzebwas murdered in cold blood by Shivaji – , at the behest of his father Shahjahan and his brothers, especially Dara Shikoh. And, to think that the Hindu fanatics celebrate this murderer. It is really sad that, instead of worshipping the Aurangzebs, we idolize the Shivajis. Sick society.

FACT #13: Aurangzeb was the first to translate the whole of Qur’an into Tamil and Sanskrit. Kamba Ramanayanam of Tamilnadu got translated into Persian by him.

Sadly, he died while he was translating the same into Arabic – with pen in his right hand and parchment on his left! :-(  The world‘s loss!

…Such was the greatness (though a mere mortal like I, cannot do justice to his highness!) – and I sincerely hope that you have been sufficiently astonished. Thanks.

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So, my dear fellow Intellectuals,

Now, the time has come to mitigate the situation and auto-correct all the Hysterical Wrongs.

So.

Resolution #1: India should start celebrating Aurangzeb Jayanthi; since Gandhi (original) would not mind it, we can have it on 2nd October because both essentially worked for Peace and Brotherhood. Both were for true Ahimsa.

Resolution #2: India should confer Bharath Rathna on Aurangzeb, posthumously – for preserving the unity and integrity of a Secular India.

Resolution #3: Mughlai Paratha should henceforth be called Aurangbhai Paratha.

For all those ignorant Hindus out there, who will be horrified about the suggestions – as they are more used to the Goebbelsian Hindutvaite propaganda that Aurangzeb was indeed a scumbag, without any redeeming features at all – I have just THREE solid, historical questions that would shut them up, like FOREVER:

1. Can you conclusively prove via DNA tests that, scamster Nirav Modi is not related to your Narandra Modi?

2. Why are you SO intolerant?

3. Why does your Hindu neighbor wear Sacred Thread?

Thanks.

Hail Aurangzeb! Hail Truth!!